Maybe the first non-Oriole series will be awesome, eh?
Tom Waits – Way Down In The Hole
so, after being swept, the twins leave balmore way down in-- well, you know...
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw2MjRcVO4g
by the way, this clip is shockingly awesome, you guys.
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Loading... Game 3 Recap: Baltimore 3, Minnesota 1
Boy…I’m glad I didn’t get to catch much of this game live. Even in fast-forward, I caught myself grimacing with each passing inning. Hardy led off the scoring for Baltimore by belting a solo home run to left-center (while playing solid defense throughout the series. I know it's stupid, but I still can't figure out what they were thinking when they traded him). For a while, it looked like that single run might be all the O’s would need. Something called Jason Hammel no-hit the Twins through 7 innings. Even where they picked up a base runner via walks, Doumit and Willingham graciously helped him out of the jam by hitting into double plays. Jason Hammel came to Baltimore in a deal that sent Jeremy Guthrie to Colorado. The Twins hitters seemed to sense the connection. Continue reading Game 3 Recap: Baltimore 3, Minnesota 1
2012 Game 3: Twins at Orioles
Well, this has been no fun so far. It's been baseball, which is the best I can say for it. Outside of that, it's been a tiresome 18 innings where the Twins have rarely been in the game.
Anthony Slapstick (4-7, 55 K, 26 BB, 4.32 ERA, 4.04 FIP, 4.67 xFIP, 1.0 WAR in 102 innings) goes for the Twins today in a spot start, facing Jason Hammel (7-13, 94 K, 68 BB, 4.76 ERA, 4.83 FIP, 4.65 xFIP, 1.0 WAR in 170.1 innings). Hammel was one of two pitchers to come from Colorado for Jeremy Guthrie, in a fairly strange trade for the Rockies. Hammel's previous two years were alright, but his 2011 was pretty bad, and I guess that was enough to jettison him for an aging flyball pitcher.
Well, if that means the Twins get to avoid Jeremy Guthrie, who's much better than a Jeremy, I guess that's good.
So, what's the bright side right now? Well, Consensual Pork's 1.089! Yeah, I've got nothin' here. After a season like 2011, I fear this team has a pretty short leash before apathy sets in, so here's hoping they set a better tone with a win here, or at least a loss where they appear to be in it for a while.
I'm not sure how much of this one I'll see, what with this house full of people. Bring it home, gents.
Game 2 Recap: Orioles 8 – Twins 2
I am not sad that I missed this game - like, even a little.
Let's rummage through the wreckage for positives...
- Morneau had a good day. That's a good sign.
- Perkins came in and devoured some folk.
- Mauer displayed boyish charm and tough-as-nails leadership throughout the game.
- Because of this, the Red Sox and Yankees are tied for last place, with three teams above them. That's could be a tough hole to get out of.
- By all accounts, none of the visiting team committed any felonies while playing.
I really hate to think that Liriano showed us a great spring, just to go belly-up when it comes to the regular season, but again, I didn't watch.
Minor Details: Games of 4/7
Twins affiliates took an oh-fer. Two of the losses were in extra innings. Rene Tosoni may miss a week with a cut finger. Continue reading Minor Details: Games of 4/7
April 8, 2012: Nightmares
The Twins' nightmarish April schedule begins with two losses against the least nightmarish team of the month. It could be a long season, dudes.
Happy Birthday–April 8
John Peters (1850)
Kirby Higbe (1915)
Stan Wasiak (1920)
Charlie Maxwell (1927)
Turk Farrell (1934)
Takao Kajimoto (1935)
John Hiller (1943)
Catfish Hunter (1946)
Randy Marsh (1949)
Mac Scarce (1949)
Gary Carter (1954)
Alex Gonzalez (1973)
Timo Perez (1975)
Matt Ford (1981)
Felix Hernandez (1986)
Yonder Alonso (1987)
Stan Wasiak holds the record for most wins as a minor league manager, 2,530. He managed from 1950-1986, managing at levels from Class D to AAA.
Yonder Alonso was drafted by Minnesota in the sixteenth round in 2005, but did not sign.
We would like to wish a happy birthday to the brother of Daneeka's Ghost. We would also like to wish everyone a joyous and blessed Easter.
Felice Brothers – Frankie’s Gun
The first inning was pretty cool, right?
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqilyYI1NvI
And yes. I will play this anytime Frankie does anything even kind of awesome.
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Loading... 2012 Game Number 2: Minnesota Twins at Baltimore Orioles
New season, same result - 'meh' pitching, and 'too little, too late' hitting.
I think Sean had it right last game log when he says that the front office knows what they've got, and they know that it's not happening this season. Fair enough, but I'm impatient - I want a World Series this year. Therefore, I've put together a little cheat sheet for how this team can be turned into a contender. If someone with connections could route this to the powers that be, I'd appreciate it.
Pitching
Obviously, the big problem is going to be pitching, so they must obviously trade for some strong starters, and some strong relievers. I've taken the liberty of drawing up some proposals.
- DFA Jeff Gray (He's letting opposing batters reach at a ridiculous .667 clip. Thanks, but no thanks, Jeff.)
- DFA Matt Capps (obviously)
- Trade Brian Duensing for Roy Halladay (He's got an unsustainable rate of 27.0 k/9 going, so trade him while he's hot)
- Arrange for Kyle Gibson to be fitted with a robotic arm (This whole recovery process is taking too long - time to speed things up a bit.)
- Have some crazy, back-alley doctor remove all of Scott Baker's arm tendons (He can't strain them if they're not there, can he. Ivan'll put some rubber bands in there, or something.)
- "Forget" Jason Marquis at the airport the next time he accompanies them on a road trip (This is a two part plan which may involve pretending that Target Field is closed for the season when he inevitably gets a taxi ride back.)
- Once it gets to the later months, forbid anyone from telling Nick Blackburn that it's not May anymore.
Batting
As we saw yesterday, hitting is going to be this team's biggest obstacle (except for pitching, because Lord, do those pitchers suck). Here's a few quick ways to change that.
- Trade Alexi Casilla for a large potted plant (the plant can trip runners as they round second, and will likely provide a bit more hitting power)
- Put Joe Mauer into a time machine, and tell him to retrieve 2009 Joe Mauer (It'll be sad to see 2011 Joe Mauer go, but we liked the other one better, anyway. Besides, this is the kind of sacrifice a leader has to make sometimes. Cuddy would go back in time to get 2009 Joe Mauer, and he'd probably bring back 2010 Justin Morneau while he was at it.)
- Create an unholy Frankenstein mishmash of Ben Revere's legs and Denard Span's arm. (Den Spavere will be the greatest outfielder ever, while Bard Revan can be safely DFA'd)
- Trade Chris Parmelee for Albert Pujols (The only worry here is that the Angels may not believe that Parmelee is as good as Dick Bremer says he is. In this case, we include Carl Pavano in the deal. Who says no?)
Until my brilliant ideas are brought to the front office, we're stuck with what we've got. What we've got today is..
F. Liriano (0-0, a disappointing 0 k/9, and a awe-inspiring, but probably unsustainable 0.00 ERA)
T. Hunter (0-0, 3.20 FIP, 0 ERA)
Normally, I'd say that the Twins are totally screwed, but come on... this is Tommy Hunter we're talking about.ZiPs has him projected for something like a 5.00 ERA. Even the Twins should be able to get some runs off this guy, right?