Oh it’s real now Twins fans. Joe Mauer is angry* about getting the short end of a bad called third strike. American League pitchers couldn’t stop Miguel Sano, so they petitioned MLB to sit him for a day. Stalwarts like Danny Santana, Kyle Gibson, and Michael Tonkin unceremoniously dumped by the whippersnappers in the front office. Plus, Twins hides still chapped from the spanking the Red Sox put on them over the weekend. Yes, these Twins are just loaded for bear, looking to take it on someone, anyone. Who better than the White Sox, those southside ne-er do wells, home of disco demolition day and the Ligue family?
Wait there’s more you say? Mike Pelfrey is pitching for the Whities? Big Pelf? The Dude who had a 35.6 ERA and -14.1 WAR** during his short stay with the Twins? Bring. It. On. I foresee the Twins batting around twice before the 4th inning as all those frustrations ooze out of the visitor dugout. Tonight will be one cathartic primal scream where Brian Buxton’s batting average moves from .165 to .180, Max Kepler creates a fourth law of White Sox ass kicking, and Hector Santiago strikes out the side on seven pitches. Paul Molitor may even only use 3 pitchers tonight instead of the usual 7 or 8. I call this a Teri Hatcher game (It’s going to be real and it’s going to be spectacular). So sit back and enjoy the festivities.
* Well, mildly upset
** Unconfirmed but close